The weekend is over

The weekend is over and I don't get the luxury of knowing that I still have tomorrow to finish what I didn't get done. Training for general labor, with driving a forktruck, starts tomorrow at 6am sharp! Well, actually maybe a tad earlier because of catching up with updates from the general labor person tonight.

Morning is going to come very early! So, what did I do? I laid down for a little while this afternoon and dozed. Couldn't help it, I couldn't hold my eyes open. I can't help it I'm on night schedule. Then I'll just get used to the day hours and then finish my training and go back to my night shift.

The good thing is that tomorrow is A shift's last day of the work weekend so I'll work tomorrow and then be off until Thursday and work it and Friday and then be off for the weekend again. Tomorrow is the start of the new pay period so mixing up the weekends off won't bother my check.

The other day I bought my mother, and myself, the book Dr. Neal Barnard's Program for Reversing Diabetes. Somehow I have the feeling that I'll have to hound her to get her to read it and that she'll definitely put the book down when she reads that the program calls for a vegan diet. I can be really sure that her idea of a balanced meal includes some type of meat, even if it's in small amounts.

I hate to say it but I wonder sometimes if she really wants to get rid of her diabetes. She says she hates having it and wishes she didn't but she also uses it as a topic of discussion with everyone she talks to, no matter who it is. Even the stock boys at the grocery store. It is a way for her to get attention and I am just not sure she'd want to get rid of it, especially if it means going against every bit of nutritional knowledge she has, even if it's wrong.

And she doesn't cook anymore, doesn't even have the gas turned on to the stove and oven anymore. Everything is either eaten cold or microwaved. And Dad gets those little dinners-in-a-package things, I think by Hormel, that sit on a shelf and just get microwaved. And since he's been eating those types of things his blood pressure is a little on the high side. Mom takes medicine for high blood pressure, though I'm not sure how high hers is. They also eat out a lot! Like Applebees, though that's more of a once-a-month treat or so, and a couple of the restaurants in town and the next town over, which is at least home-cooked stuff, and Subway. Occasionally a pizza.

I can't see her going vegan but I do see her fighting even a vegetarian diet. I'm hoping to be able to help her along as I've been thinking of becoming vegetarian for years, for the most part. I don't eat that much meat but just wasn't totally sure what all to fix as a meal in order to make sure all the needed nutrition was there. I've been studying up some and getting some healthy cookbooks, especially Italian which I love. It seems as though beans is the good way to go, I just have to get used to making them. I do now have a pressure cooker so I won't have to soak and cook them for hours.

I wish I'd grown up seeing good cooking. By the time I really remember watching and helping Mom cook she was working so pretty much all meals started coming out of boxes and cans. And I also have worked nearly all my adult life so I didn't take much of an interest in cooking. I'm still trying to find the love of cooking. I do love to bake though.

Graduation is coming very quickly. Just a couple months away and I still haven't gotten Chris' senior pictures printed out or the announcements done. I will definitely have to take some of my days off and just concentrate on that! And I haven't found out any final details about the graduation party, as it is pretty well set that about 5 of the grads are going together for a combined graduation party. Another thing I need to get at. Graduation is on my shift's weekend to work and I would imagine I'll be back on the shift by then. There was talk of everyone just bringing one or two dishes, or roasters full, and it would be enough. I hope so because Chris already put his order in wanting my 3-bean salad. And I'd have to make a big roaster full.

Arrgg, it'll be here before I get it all done, I just know it!!!!

Ok, it's now after 9 and, of course, I'm not the least bit drowsy. Maybe if I get off the comp and watch tv or read maybe it'll hit. Otherwise....I wonder if I'll be excused if late. Probably be taken off from personal time.

Wish me luck with the first stage of my training! Please!

Have a great night, happy blog readers. I may pop in tomorrow night and let you know how Day 1 went. Thankfully, as I said earlier, after tomorrow I get two days off!

Late night...

I'm watching Under The Tuscan Sun, again. I LOVE this movie more and more every time I see it. Maybe it's because, and it is a good part, I would love to move some place like Tuscany to start over and perhaps get to concentrate on writing and crafts again. Or at least on life again. Tuscany in the movies at least is gorgeous! And a villa to fix up and make homey, heaven! Of course, to look like Diane Lane and have her money would be quite an asset as well.

I got the bathroom sink put in today finally. There may be a slight leak on the hot water. Hopefully it will plug as I think I've tightened it as tight as I can get it. It actually turned out to be a faster job than changing the kitchen faucet was.

I finally got told today when I will start training for my position of back-up team-lead. Back-up general labor is what I start with. So, starting Monday the 22nd I will be on A shift. It'll sure take some time to get used to getting up early enough to be to work by 6am. I just hope I don't mess up at all, like dumping a pallet or something. I wish I'd had more than just an hour's training on a forklift.

Today I have had such a hard time wanting to control food portions. Maybe nerves? Probably. If I keep up like this I'll never lose weight.

My apartment needs color, lots of different colors. It's mainly red and black, the living room, tan carpeting, and woodtone furniture and shelves. It gets a bit tiring and depressive without lots of color to liven it up. Not sure how or what all to do to add mroe color, which is why it isn't colorful now, without buying all new furniture or at least a new couch. Maybe next year on that. My red couch is only a couple years old but the four pillows it has for the back are driving me crazy trying to get them looking nice. I thought it would be great when I bought it with the removable pillows, and it was for a while, but it's a pain with the pillows now.

Housework and work tomorrow. I need a vacation!

What to do today?

Besides the fact that I have to work tonight.

Ever have one of those days when you just want to get away and not think about anything having to do with home? Ok, I have those days a lot! And today is one of them.

I have to work all night tonight and tomorrow night so I don't feel like spending the day doing housework. Mainly because what I have to look forward to is putting away or storing away things that I've pulled out of storage lately in order to sort through them. It's stuff that's been packed away for years. It's just the fact of getting it done and out of the living areas so I have my floor space back from containers. You wouldn't think it would be that hard to just get it done. I wouldn't think so either but housework just seems like a neverending thing. I do it, it's immediately undone and I have to do it all again and again. Argg!

I also have a bunch of filing that's been piled instead of put away, another neverending thing it seems. And my checkbook is behind again and seems to take forever to get caught up. Why I don't just keep them done at the time I don't know. Another argg! Call it cabin fever, although it seems like I'm usually on the go, or just plain depressive at the thought.

Sometimes I think the thing to do is to just chuck it all and start over but that isn't going to happen. It's a lifetime of things.

Ok, enough of that! Every day I could write the same thing about housework and feeling trapped by the unfun of it.

A couple of my muses have been taking little skips through history in my mind trying to build up their histories for me. One of the bad things is that some of the best stops happens when I'm at work and not able to be written down. I guess it does all add together and one day I'll just sit and write and it'll all come flowing out. Ok, I can hope that will happen. I have to start allowing my mind to just relax and flow again. That hasn't been very easy for quite some time now.

In about 2 1/2 months I will be smoke-free for 2 years! A great milestone! And I'm proud of myself. Even now I still have no desire to start smoking again. But there are some things that I hate since I quit. Number 1, of course, is the weight I've put on. I would say probably a good 40 pounds. Instead of smoking I eat, but I have noticed that that aspect is starting to wind down a bit, thankfully. I still overeat but am working on it and I don't seem to be adding any on, though I'm not taking any off yet either. But I have to up my activity level a lot!

Which brings us to number 2: the lack of concentration and therefore ambition. This has a lot to do with my inability to write. Or get anything else truly done. This is the worse part of it! When I smoked I could concentrate on everything, without problem. After quitting it's gone. No matter what I try I just can't get that back. Any suggestions??? Please?? I try forcing myself and it'll work for a little while but then it's gone again. This leads to sitting a lot watching way too much tv. I've been wanting to write, sew, quilt, cross stitch, learn guitar and stuff. And then I wonder what's wrong with me. Then add in the fact that I'm 46 and into perimenopause, which they say will affect those things as well. Maybe I'm just doomed! Maybe I need a vacation to some quiet, peaceful place where I can just think and work through my mental blockages.

I think that's a good reason why I'm on the go a lot. I've always been a homebody but the past few years, even throughout winters, I take off and go to the city and spend money I shouldn't. But I don't have to concentrate and it gives instant gratification and a feeling of at least doing something. And I keep hoping that something will bootkick me into wanting to do things again. (Yes I know that shutting the tv off and getting used to it being off would help. Maybe when it warms up outside.)

Has anyone else suffered this afliction after quitting smoking? Is it an age thing more than anything? Is there any hope for me? Ok, I hate to say it but maybe I just need to get laid, but that's another blog for another time. :)

Ok, now that I've again bored you to tears I will go ahead and leave you for now. Not sure what I'll do yet before work but hopefully it'll be something constructive.

Have a great day, happy blog readers! I'll probably catch you this weekend when I have off. Friday night might be busy as Bernie promised me to either take me out for dinner or order in at his place. We'll see. Especially since it looks that he'll be moving out of state to get a job. Man, I do with the job markets would go back to the way they used to be.